Welcoem to posts!!

Live the Agile Lifestyle
Posted 2 weeks ago

Has anyone recently turned 30?

Something’s going on in my head. I’m trying to shake it off, but I can’t. I want to talk about it, but I’m not sure how. So here I am, hoping that writing about it might help.

Has anyone recently turned 30? Does it come with some kind of existential crisis? Why can’t I stop thinking about the fact that I’m turning 30 in some months? I don’t have time for this. I have real life to deal with. I have work. I have bills. I have a boyfriend role to play.

So what exactly is bothering me? Surely, you must be curious by now.

Well, it’s a lot of feelings.

Feelings of perhapses.

Perhaps I should have worked harder leading up to this point.
Perhaps I should have taken more risks.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have made that investment.
Perhaps I should have been more frugal.

Feelings of sudden "why" drifts.

Why didn’t I take that Amazon interview seriously five years ago? I just needed to be Jeff’s robot for a year and boost my savings.
Why did I pour so much time and energy into that start-up, even when I wasn’t sure what I was doing?

Feelings of permutative self-doubt.

If I save X every month for the next Y years, will I ever buy my dream car? Build my dream home? Will I even have the time to enjoy it?

Feelings of utter lack of inhibition.

I’m in Lagos, but I’m getting myself the American spec of that Samsung flagship phone. I deserve grade A chips and timely software updates — nothing less. I’ll pair it with a fitness band too. And I’m enrolling in the best gym around, even if it costs me an arm. I’m too old for patch-patch living. While I’m at it, I’ll incorporate enough goat meat, chicken, and turkey into my diet. No more excuses to deprioritize my well-being.

Feelings of implicit ingratitude.

I’ve lived a good life so far. Gotten and built some nice things for myself. My folks are retired happily. I’m blessed with nephews and nieces. I met the woman of my dreams. I’m happy — most of the time. But if I’m not explicitly grateful, does that make me implicitly ungrateful?

Feelings of ruthless opportunism.

Every room I walk into, every negotiation I partake in — it feels like it’s now or never. I have to put myself first. Look for the opportunity in everything. What’s my angle? I don’t have time for “what ifs” or “maybes.” What do you have to offer me right now?

I hoped writing this would lead to a Eureka moment. Not quite. I’ve only succeeded in laying out my problems more clearly — which now gives me more refined material to obsess over.

I really hoped I wouldn’t have to say this again, but dearest gentle readers, I’m left with no choice:

Hello? Has anyone recently turned 30?

1 - 0