Now I Am Known @[email protected]
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My son, Anthony Mutabazi and I (Peter Mutabazi) started this
Welcoem to posts!!
in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
Harm is a communication I learned that showed me the deeper issues.
Sometimes the deepest wounds show up in the quietest, most confusing ways—like a child refusing their favorite meal or tossing a gift in the trash. Not because they’re ungrateful, but because they don’t believe they’re worthy of love or kindness. I’ve seen children push me away with anger and silence, not out of hate, but from fear that love never stays.
There’s no quick fix for self-sabotage. No magic words that make a child believe in their worth or trust that they won’t be abandoned again. But what I’ve learned is this: consistency, compassion, and patience are everything. I can’t force a child to open up, but I can keep showing up. I can keep the door open, the bike in the garage, and my heart ready.
So when they finally say, “I don’t even know how to ride a bike,” I’m there. Not with judgment, but with an offer to help. Because healing happens in small moments of safety and trust. And love, real love, waits.
If you’re in the thick of this journey, don’t give up. You may not see progress every day, and sometimes it may feel like you’re standing still. But your presence is planting seeds. And in time, maybe when you least expect it, you’ll see them grow.
I got into more depth about how some of my kids have self-sabotaged over the years in my new book, “Love Doesn’t Conquer It All,” available for pre-order everywhere now!
#selfsabotage #childdevelopment #traumainformed #fostercare #childadvocacy #parenting #singledad
3.7K - 66
Happy Easter my beautiful village!
This Easter morning, I looked around the breakfast table—five faces with so much warmth and smiles—and I just felt overwhelmed with love. Our family may not look traditional, but it’s ours. Built with patience, laughter, healing, and an endless supply of hugs (and snacks), this house is full of life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Easter is all about renewal and hope, and in this house, we celebrate both every single day. I’ve seen firsthand how resilient children are when they're given safety, stability, and someone to believe in them. Fostering isn’t always easy, but the joy of seeing a child smile freely, maybe for the first time in a while, is more than worth it.
Holidays can be emotional when you're building something out of broken pieces, but somehow, love always finds a way to fill the cracks. No matter how we came to be a family, we choose each other every day. And that, to me, is the real miracle.
Thank you to everyone who has supported us on this wild, beautiful journey. Your kindness, messages, prayers, and even the simple check-ins mean more than you know. From our family to yours, Happy Easter—may it be full of peace, joy, and the people who feel like home.
7K - 172
Love and family isn’t limited to sharing the same blood. It’s the people who show up and stay when your world comes crashing down.
The world of foster care can be incredibly unreliable—espeically for foster kids. They’re constantly moved and uprooted from a life they wish to plant seeds in. The definition of a family and what it looks like becomes so blurred that they’re not sure who they can call “mom” or “dad.” The beauty of foster families is the fact that they are blended. The unique family structure formed by foster parents, who could already have biological or adopted children, welcome foster children into their home.
With a different cultural experience than my kids, I have a very blended family. I grew up having no choice in what to eat and had to walk six miles to get water. I wasn’t able to speak with my father in an emotionally safe way and there was little to no affection given to me. Becoming a parent, one who grew up in an abusive household, helps me understand where foster kids come from and what resources they need. I think about what I needed when I was growing up and can provide those things for them.
My role as a foster parent is to step in and provide a safe and supportive environment for children who can’t live with their birth families due to difficult circumstances like abuse, neglect, or other challenges. When foster kids join a home with existing children—biological or adopted—it adds layers of both complexity and connection. It’s a dynamic that takes patience, open-mindedness, and a whole lot of heart. I’m lucky enough to have the most welcoming and loving kids that any new child can feel like they can have a safe home and support system to take care of them.
Blended foster families are beautifully diverse. Some may have one foster child joining siblings already in the home, while others may have a mix of foster, adopted, and biological kids all under one roof. Every family looks a little different, but they all share one thing in common: a commitment to providing love, stability, and a sense of belonging.
#fostercareawareness #blendedfamilies #diversefamilies #childadvocacy #singledad #fosterdad
2.6K - 36
Bringing a new foster child into your home can drastically change a family’s dynamic.
At first, everything may feel unfamiliar. Their story, their fears, and their way of navigating the world might look different from what you know. But over time, these new experiences begin to weave into the fabric of your everyday life, transforming the dynamic in ways you never expected.
Every new child brings with them a world of possibilities, but it can also bring unforeseen challenges that test your family’s patience and emotional resilience. The quiet routine you once had may be disrupted, and relationships within your home may become strained as everyone adjusts to a new reality. The trauma a foster child carries can manifest in unexpected ways. Understandably, trust issues and emotional outbursts can put a strain on existing family dynamics. The road to healing isn’t always smooth, and the emotional toll on parents and siblings can be harder to bear than anticipated.
As you welcome a new member into your home, you realize that fostering isn’t just about changing their lives—it’s about changing yours too. The bond you create doesn’t erase their past, but it helps heal it. However, it’s important to acknowledge that fostering can sometimes feel like a balancing act, where both joy and hardship exist side by side. The love and support you give help them grow, and in return, they help your family grow, but it’s not without its challenges. Fostering is a journey that can test your limits, but it also deepens your understanding of what it truly means to love and persevere.
1.9K - 18
The patterns we inherit don’t have to define us, but they can if we let it.
Breaking the cycle of generational trauma is one of the most powerful steps you can take to become the kind of parent you aspire to be. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. When we carry the weight of unresolved pain from past generations, we unknowingly repeat those patterns with our own children.
Healing isn’t just for us—it’s for them. The hardest part of my journey was having to confront my own childhood. It brings back a lot of memories that I would rather forget, but if I chose to repress those negative emotions and feelings, they can come out in negative ways.
By recognizing the trauma, acknowledging its effects, and working to overcome it, we set a foundation for healthier relationships and a brighter future for our kids. Overcoming generational trauma requires deep self-awareness, patience, and compassion. It means choosing to break habits and beliefs that no longer serve us or our families, even when it’s hard.
Healing starts within, and as we heal ourselves, we can begin to create a space where our children feel loved, heard, and safe. It’s about being intentional with how we show up, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, for our kids.
The beauty of healing generational trauma is that it opens the door for transformation—not just for us as individuals, but for future generations. The work you do today paves the way for your children and their children to live free from the weight of inherited pain. Remember, being a good parent isn’t about perfection; it’s about growth, reflection, and choosing love and healing over repetition.
2.5K - 37
What I wish I had known before becoming a foster dad
In the early days of becoming a foster dad, the challenges were greater than I had anticipated. After quitting my career and turning my whole life upside down, I began having serious doubts about my decision. The doubts of whether or not I was cut out for this or ready to become a provider hit me hard. The thoughts of letting go of this life and returning to the one I had known and become comfortable with were so strong that I considered calling the social worker and giving up. Then I felt the weight of guilt and conviction on my shoulders. What kind of parent thinks of this?
It turns out, a lot of us do—having moments of absolute doubt. To realize that becoming a foster parent means just as much as if you were becoming a biological parent. Realizing you’re becoming a caregiver, provider, role model to someone who needs it is an important part of the fostering journey. We can get in our heads about what parenting should be, especially if it’s for the first time. The sooner we let go of the fantasy of what parenting should be, the sooner we can understand that it’s actually messy, unpredictable, and absolutely worth it.
The challenges a lot of foster parents face are the emotional outbursts foster children can experience. These children are going through unimaginable things and are trying to figure it out like the rest of us. As a foster parent, there’s a responsibility to accept that these challenges don’t just disappear. I’ve learned that taking a moment for myself to breathe and know that I can figure this out is crucial. For every new child, there is not one cookie cutter solution, because they’re all beautifully different. If we keep showing up, we’ll find a way forward with them and for them.
I’ve written something exciting about these lessons I’ve learned, and I would love for you guys to be the first ones to receive those lessons in May. By signing up for my newsletters, you can have early access and sneak peaks at what’s coming up. Click the link in my bio to sign up!
#fosterparenting #adoption #parentingadvice #singledad
1.8K - 19
Being the silent backbone in the child welfare system means showing up with unwavering love, patience, and dedication. It’s not always loud, and it’s often behind the scenes, but it’s always impactful. As foster parents, we create safe, nurturing spaces for children to heal, grow, and thrive. Our role is to guide them through challenges, all while maintaining a bridge between them and their biological families.
In the midst of turbulent times, it’s all about building trust, respect, and relationships.
That’s the foundation of what we do. My focus is to ensure these children have a lifeline back to their parents when they’re ready, while still offering them a safe haven here. It’s a delicate balance, but it’s one that can change the trajectory of a child’s life. The goal isn’t just to provide care, but to support a future where families are healed, reunited, and empowered.
The work we do in child welfare is a ripple effect. Every moment we invest in these kids, every effort to strengthen families, builds protective factors that can last a lifetime. When we support both children and caregivers, we create long-lasting safety and well-being.
1.9K - 24
Did you know 60-80% of siblings in foster care are separated?
For a foster child with siblings, having them by their side is so important for their well-being and mental health. They can provide each other strength. If one can’t speak up for their needs and wants, a sibling can speak for them. They feel less alone in the mess that foster care can bring to someone’s life.
Family preservation is a deeply powerful concept in the foster care system—one that recognizes the irreplaceable value of keeping children connected to their roots. Every child deserves the chance to grow up surrounded by the love, culture, and history of their own family, and family preservation efforts aim to make that possible. It’s about providing the right resources and support to families so they can heal, rebuild, and stay together. It’s about giving parents the tools they need to break cycles, while ensuring that children’s safety and well-being are always the priority.
When families are kept intact, children have the opportunity to thrive in environments that reflect who they are and where they come from. Preserving the family unit, especially in the face of challenges, isn’t always easy—but it’s worth it. Every family has the potential for growth, resilience, and healing, and with the right support, that potential can be realized. Foster care isn’t just about finding a safe place for children, it’s about equipping families with the tools to rebuild and reunite.
We must work together to ensure every child has the best chance at a bright future, and that future often starts at home. Family preservation is more than just a service—it’s a commitment to seeing families, all families, for their potential and not their circumstances. With our efforts, we know that when families stay together children grown stronger, and communities are tighter than ever.
2.7K - 68
Even when you’re surrounded by kids, you can still feel lonely.
Parenting brings so much joy, but it also shifts our social circles, schedules, and priorities. It's not uncommon for parents to feel a sense of loneliness as friendships evolve and personal time becomes scarce. Whether it's the intensity of caregiving, the changes in identity, or the unique challenges faced by homeschooling or foster parents, the feelings of isolation can be overwhelming at times.
The key to overcoming loneliness is building a supportive community. Connecting with other parents can provide the emotional support and understanding we need. Homeschooling families, in particular, can benefit from co-ops or learning pods, while foster parents can seek out groups that understand their unique journey. It's about finding those who truly get what you're going through and can offer encouragement and friendship.
Lastly, don't forget to prioritize yourself. It’s easy to pour everything into your children, but self-care is essential for mental and emotional well-being. Whether it's enjoying a personal hobby, attending a faith group, or simply grabbing coffee with a friend, nurturing yourself helps to combat isolation. Building connections and setting aside time for personal growth are important steps in overcoming the loneliness that can come with parenthood.
#parentingsupport #fosterfamilysupport #cooplearning #mentalhealth #fostercare #parenting #singledad
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How can you belong or call a place home when it's your 5th "new" one?
Bringing a new foster child into our home is more than just an adjustment—it’s a complete shift in their world. Each move chips away at their sense of identity, trust, and stability. While we see an open door and a welcoming home, they often see another loss, another unfamiliar place, another chance to be let down. The fear of starting over, of new faces and new rules, weighs heavy on their hearts.
That’s why my family and I make it a priority to create a space where they feel safe, seen, and valued. One of the first things we do is give them a full tour of the house, showing them where everything is, including their own bedroom. We let them know they don’t have to rush to fit in, that they can take their time adjusting.
We also:
2. Watch the child’s favorite movie or TV show to make them feel grounded
3. Offer favorite foods on a regular basis
4. Prep my kids and let them know that another kid is coming into the home
5. Add personal touches to make the child feel welcome
Small actions make a big difference. It’s not about fixing everything overnight, but about making sure they know they belong, no matter how long they stay.
#fostercare #belonging #childsupport #family #community #fosterfamily #fostering #singledad #parenting
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My son, Anthony Mutabazi and I (Peter Mutabazi) started this vlog to share our fostering and adoption journey and to try to help as many kids as we can along the way.
We believe every child and young person, especially the forgotten, neglected, or abused, deserves to be celebrated; seen, heard, and known!
Check out our other channel:
www.youtube.com/@AParentJourneyWithPeter
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮 & 𝗣𝗥 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗹: [email protected]
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Now I Am Known
338 S. Sharon Amity Road # 270
Charlotte, NC 28211